<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.<\/p>\n
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you
\nsome milk.<\/p>\n
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you
\nsome milk.<\/p>\n
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.<\/p>\n
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one,
\nmilks the other, then throws the milk away…<\/p>\n
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy
\na bull.<\/p>\n
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and
\nretire on the income.<\/p>\n
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
\ntake harmonica lessons<\/p>\n
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force
\nthe other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a
\nconsultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.<\/p>\n
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them
\nto your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
\nyour brotherinlaw at the bank, then execute a debt\/equity swap with
\nan associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with
\na tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
\ntransferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly
\nowned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
\ncows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company
\nowns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a
\nnew president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
\nbalance sheet provided with the release.<\/p>\n
The public buys your bull.<\/p>\n
THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.<\/p>\n
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike,
\norganise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.<\/p>\n
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so
\nthey are onetenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
\ntimes the milk.<\/p>\n
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘cowkimon’ and
\nmarket it worldwide.<\/p>\n
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so
\nthey live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.<\/p>\n
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where
\nthey are. You decide to have lunch.<\/p>\n
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn
\nyou have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
\nYou count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting
\ncows and open another bottle of vodka.<\/p>\n
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
\nYou charge the owners for storing them.<\/p>\n
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people
\nmilking them.<\/p>\n
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity,
\nand arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.<\/p>\n
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.<\/p>\n
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.<\/p>\n
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell
\nthem that you have none. Noone believes you, so they bomb the ****
\nout of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at
\nleast now you are part of a Democracy….<\/p>\n
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
\nattractive.<\/p>\n
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.<\/p>\n
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.<\/p>\n
Courtesy of Felix<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM: You have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-silly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=268"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/purplemass.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}